A life with cancer
Lesson learned is not to take life for granted

March 18, 2009

BY DAWN BAUMGARTNER VAUGHAN

dvaughan@heraldsun.com; 919-419-6563

DURHAM -- Don't take life for granted.

That's the message of David Turner, 25, who has lymphoma, a blood cancer. In just 13 months, Turner went from being a healthy young man to being told this is likely his last year of life.

Turner has accepted every treatment option for his aggressive lymphoma, and would be part of a clinical trial, too, if that were an option.

"Dave's always been accepting of how things are. If a situation can be improved, go for it. He's always been like that. He's very optimistic," said Nick Little, Turner's best friend. They were roommates in Newport News, Va., where Turner lived before being diagnosed with Stage IV diffuse large B-cell lymphoma last March. Now he lives in Durham.

Turner has undergone three regimens of chemotherapy since last April and recent radiation for a tumor on his back. He has another tumor on his eye, and results of a biopsy this week will determine the next step of his treatment plan. Chances of recovery are slim, said his oncologist at Duke University, Anne Beaven. "The reason we keep going is because there's always that one person," she said.

The treatments have taken a toll on Turner's energy. When he's not at the Morris Cancer Clinic, he spends much of his time resting on his couch.

At first, he spent his time playing video games, but he got tired of that.

"I watch a lot of Court TV, Discovery Channel, The Learning Channel, HGTV and basketball. It's a pretty boring life," he said.

The basketball Turner watches is usually his favorite team -- Duke. Turner, who is 6 feet 10 inches, used to play basketball himself. He became a Duke fan on March 28, 1992, at the age of 8.

"My first memory of basketball at all is Christian Laettner's shot," he said.

You know the one -- Laettner's buzzer beater versus Kentucky in the NCAA Tournament. Turner has framed photographs of the shot -- before and after -- in his spare bedroom. Other framed Duke basketball photos surround it, filling up most of a wall. Coach Mike Krzyzewski autographed them, and a basketball, too. Other signatures on the photos include Tommy Amaker, J.J. Redick, Grant Hill, Jason Williams and Nate James. Turner attended his first-ever Duke game at Cameron Indoor Stadium last month -- when Duke beat Wake Forest.

It's hard to maintain much of a social life. Turner's uncle came up to visit and they went out to eat at Ruby Tuesday, but before dinner was over, Turner was so lethargic he wanted to go home. He also reconnected with a woman who likes him and he likes her, too, but the relationship won't progress because neither wants to get hurt. Still, she came to visit and they talk by phone. A native of Martinsville, Va., like Turner, she is -- ironically, he said -- a radiation specialist.

"That's the hardest thing to deal with. The cancer, I'm in a sense OK with. It's the stuff that comes with it," Turner said. "My dream was to have a family and a kid and that's not going to happen. Seeing my family go through it. We don't talk about it. We go to cancer support counseling to get the feelings out. I've been the rock. My main concern is friends and family struggling if something happens to me. That's my main concern."

Turner said he knows his dad loves him from the bottom of his heart, but has trouble showing it. His mom over-sympathizes, he said, but has grown. His brother is kind of like his dad: "We're just guys. Emotional support is scarce as far as talking about it."

His struggle has strengthened his faith in God.

"I grew up in religion. I was always trying to please my mom maybe, and trying to go to church. I think I was religious but didn't understand the extensiveness of how great God was," he said.

"I've come to believe very heavily in Christianity the past five months. If I hadn't had cancer, and been a 25-year-old who died in a car wreck, maybe I wouldn't have gone to heaven. Maybe this is my chance."

Turner has accepted his prognosis.

"What else [would I do]? Of course I'd change it if I could. I'm kind of accepting of whatever happens. If I live or die, a lot of good will come from it." Turner said he believes he has changed a lot of people's lives over the past year. He hears from many of them through a Web site he started when he thought a stem cell transplant was an option, at raisefordave.nexo.com.

"For friends my age, if I die, maybe their eyes will be a little more open about not taking life for granted," Turner said.

Little knows he will see his friend again no matter what happens.

"One way or another, in this life or the next, Dave and I will be sitting back, drinking beers, talking about whatever. We're going to be 'boys' forever, though he might be drinking ahead of me. I'll catch up," Little said.